Sometimes, when a couple is going through a hard time and they find it difficult to leave each other, they both decide to take a break from the relationship. A break from all the responsibilities of the relationship, a break from all the fighting and arguing, a break from the commitment, a break from feeling like they need to take care of their partner.
Taking a break in a relationship does not necessarily mean a breakup. But in a lot of cases, it ends up in a breakup as one of the partner realizes the relationship is not worth saving.
When you take a break, you are putting your relationship through an ultimate test. You are trying to see what life would be like without your partner and without the relationship.
In this article, we will explore when it is a good idea to take a break and when it isn’t.
It’s a good idea to take a break if you are fighting a lot and can’t seem to stop.
If you and your partner can’t stop fighting about a certain topic and it seems the argument is never ending, it might be a good idea to take a break.
Staying away from each other might help you understand their perspective and figure out if it’s compatible with you.
It’s not the same as taking a break after a big fight. If you want to take a break because of fighting, make sure you are doing it for the right reasons. Make sure it’s because you are genuinely concerned about the fighting and disagreement and you want to come to a reasonable conclusion by taking some space and time apart.
If you want to do it just to gain the upper hand in the fight, you are not doing it for the right reasons and it’s likely to blow up on your face.
It’s a good idea to take a break if you are having doubts about commitment.
In a lot of relationships, major commitments like moving in together or marriage can be daunting for one or both of the partners. If you are having cold feet, it might be a good idea to take a break from each other and figure out if this relationship is something you truly want.
Staying away from each other might help you figure out how important your partner is to you and if they are worth committing to.
On the flip side, if you are not really ready for this type of commitment or if your partner is not right for you, a break will also help clear your mind and it will give you the strength to breakup with your partner if you are sure they are not the right person for you.
There will often be times when a break will not give you a clear answer. You may feel like your partner is right for you, but you are not ready for a commitment.
If that’s the case, you can discuss your predicament with your partner and if they agree, you can both decide to take things slow instead of making a commitment right away.
It’s a good idea to take a break if your partner cheated on you and you need time to make a decision.
Cheating, emotionally or physically, is a huge deal breaker for a lot of people. But often, it’s very hard to leave your boyfriend or girlfriend after they cheated. It’s especially true if you are very attached to each other and you feel that your relationship with your partner is very special.
If your partner cheated on you, it might be a good idea and take some time to figure out if it’s worth it to try and save the relationship. Let your partner know that you want some space and time to think and you don’t want them to contact you for a while.
As you are away from your partner, try to look at it from a neutral perspective. Sure your relationship is special but will it be possible to rebuild the trust after this huge betrayal? Here are a few things to think about:[1]
- Are they remorseful? Do they show remorse about their act? Do they understand how much they’ve hurt you?
- Are they honest? Have they been completely honest about the level of cheating? Or are they giving you bits of truth here and there (Commonly known as trickle truth[2])?
- Do they understand what it will take to rebuild the trust? Do you understand what it will take rebuild the trust? It’s going to be very challenging unless both of you are willing to work hard on saving the relationship.
- Is your relationship truly worth saving? Was it really that good in the first place? Or perhaps it’s time to let go of this relationship and focus on moving on?
It might take you a while to get your thoughts in order. It’s important you don’t rush into a decision. If your partner keeps contacting you during this time, just keep reminding them that you need more time and you have not made a decision yet.
It’s a good idea to take a break if you are not satisfied in the relationship for a long time.
A break can help you figure out what exactly is the reason you are feeling unsatisfied in the relationship and if anything can be done to change it. If you take a break for this reason, it’s important that you be honest with your partner about it.
If you have been unsatisfied in the relationship for a long time, there’s a good chance this break will result in a breakup and your partner needs to be aware of that.
It’s NOT a good idea to take a break if you just want to win a fight or have the upper hand.
It’s never a good idea to ask your partner to take a break because you want to get the upper hand in an argument or you want to show your partner that you might break up.
The fact is, most breaks usually end up in a breakup. And if you are deciding to take a break, there’s a good chance you will breakup.
If you try to use a break as a manipulation tactic to gain power over your partner, you may find yourself in a breakup that you never really wanted.
It’s NOT a good idea to take a break if you plan on sleeping with someone else.
A lot of people think of a break as an opportunity to sleep with someone else. It’s usually someone they have been interested in a while and they feel the break will give them a free pass to sleep with that person.
If that’s you, think again. If you sleep with someone else during a break, there’s a very good chance your partner will resent you for it. You will most likely have huge fights about this for years to come and your partner may never be able to get over it.
Depending on how well both of you defined the terms of the break, you may not have done something “technically” wrong. But your partner will resent you nonetheless if they were not expecting it.
Most people cannot get over the thought of their partner being in bed with someone else. Especially when they were at home crying their eyes out missing you.
If you are not ready for a monogamous relationship, you will be better off breaking up with them and satisfying your sense of sexual adventures while you are single.
Don’t use a break as an opportunity to have your cake and eat it to. As we all know, it’s not possible.
It’s NOT a good idea to take a break if the issue can be solved by communication and/or therapy.
Most of the issues in a relationship can be solved by proper communication or couples’ therapy.
A break is not always the right solution for all the problems in a relationship. Ask yourself if you have tried communicating with your partner in a calm manner and if you have tried understanding their point of view.
If not, you may want to look into couples’ therapy to help both of you understand each other more. If a break is required, the therapist will most likely recommend it.
Final thoughts
Taking a break in a relationship doesn’t mean ending a relationship. Like what it says, it’s a break only. A break that helps you and your partner to have room for reflecting your thoughts and emotions; and for thinking your future with or without your partner.
